Losing a child is traumatic. There are no human words to adequately define the heartbreak. For the donor family to learn of the truth after the death of their child complicates and increases their suffering, grief and pain. Added are feelings of regret, guilt and remorse. The dark underling feelings surface for most, if not all, shortly after the death of their child as the truth of their loved one's experience as the organ donor is revealed. The spiritual aspects are overwhelmingly obvious.

Nightmares and graphic visual images of their loved one's horrific treatment as the organ donor are portrayed for many in vivid detail. This is beyond mere emotion, beyond what could be defined as the 'norm' for those in the grieving process. It is a deep, dark experience of witnessing the many aspects of their loved one's torturous treatment as the living organ donor.

Many experience the anguish of their loved one's living organs in the cavities of strangers. Rarely discussed are these dark feelings. Nevertheless, these feelings are real and encountered by many leaving the donor family members with indescribable emotions of unrest and uneasiness. A most unsettling, unnatural and demonic sense of displeasure indeed. Truly, one lacks the ability to describe such feelings. It is another dark secret of the organ transplantation process.

Many donor family members are impelled to seek truth in an attempt to explore the undeniable and unrelenting trauma of their experience in which lingers. The nightmares for many resume for years. Depression and anxiety leave many feeling desperate and isolated. There are thousands throughout the world without council, love and compassion in which they need to heal. Quite honestly, few know they exist.

Few donor family members outwardly express such spiritual and emotional trauma. They are left with a burden to suffer alone. Who would believe what they experienced? Worse, who would want to hear of it? After all, organ donation has been popularized through extravagant propaganda campaigns and perceived as "good" by so many for so many number of years, who could-who would-believe it to be anything but "good?" To cause themselves further conflict and turmoil is not desired. Most remain in the shadows entrapped in their pain.

The deception and betrayal of organ donation is multi dimensional. Layer upon layer of numerous fallacies associated with this industry leave family members devastated. Learning their loved one was not treated for their injury, rather, treated in preparation for organ harvesting instead causes anger and resentment. Being approached in a time of anguish-in a state of shock- vulnerable and solely dependant on those in which deceive the traumatized family members is not forgotten and rarely forgiven. The wickedness of their loved one's treatment is beyond human comprehension. No donor family member in which I have spoken with would have knowingly and willing consented to organ donation had they known the ugly truth. To have been forced into making a decision based on false information in their darkest hour is a crime! To learn their loved one was murdered by the hand of those in which they had entrusted the healing of their loved one is a crime! It is repulsive! There is no excuse! The "chance" for extending the life of another is not reasonable or justifiable to the donor family whatsoever. What about their loved one? What about their "chance" for their loved one's continuation of their life? No. This reasoning does not suffice.

Donor families are encouraged to enroll in grieving programs specifically for them. Try as they may, however, the truth cannot be explained away as the very real spiritual, polluting powers encountered in which follow the death of their loved one does surface at some point. Few donor families actually participate in such programs as willing participants; rather, they do so as they lack any alternative. Perhaps for those few who participate in such programs encouraging their direct involvement in the promotion of organ donation may find solace in busying themselves and if nothing else, find this as a novel outlet. They represent few, however and are the only visible organ donor family members in which the public are made aware of. This isn't a mistake. This is intended. The truth of organ donation/transplantation is suppressed and referred to as the "urban legend." The truth exposed, all being negative, would cripple this industry. For over forty years every effort has been made to perpetuate the many fallacies as truth.   It is a distorted, twisting of truth in which this industry operates producing death of varying degrees- both spiritual and physical.

Further research provokes, as it has me and others, to research extensively. I cannot do anything about my ignorance of "brain death," organ donation/transplantation and the death of my son. However, I can provide educational resources that others may not be deceived.

Also, I can offer donor families a knowledgeable and compassionate means in which to walk through the grieving process after which the truth has been exposed and a full understanding is met. It is truth in which one learns to cope with the gruesome haunting of being victimized by having any involvement with organ donation/transplantation. It is truth in which sets us free.

There is hope.

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